By Joanna Leite, Deputy Head (Pastoral)
I recently had a conversation with my 23-year-old son, now in his second year of work. He said how lucky he felt to have secured a graduate role when many of his peers had not. I suggested it was not luck, but perseverance. He applied for more than 70 roles before succeeding. This is the world we are preparing our children for, one in which resilience is essential.
In schools, we often measure achievement in grades and outcomes. Yet, in my experience as a Deputy Head (Pastoral), true success lies not only in academic attainment but in the character young people build along the way. At the heart of that character is resilience.
Resilience is not about avoiding difficulty or pretending setbacks do not hurt. It is the ability to respond constructively when things go wrong. Disappointing exam results, friendship breakdowns, family challenges, and the everyday pressures of growing up are inevitable. Our role is not to remove these obstacles, but to help students navigate them with confidence and perspective.
One powerful way to nurture resilience is through a growth mindset. When students see mistakes as part of learning rather than evidence of failure, confidence grows. In a Quaker School, this approach is rooted in our ethos. We encourage students not to dwell on blame or disappointment, but to seek resolution. Reflection is central to this process: taking time to consider how they are feeling, why a situation has unfolded as it has, and what constructive steps might improve it.
Equally important is a culture of belonging. Young people are more resilient when they feel known, valued, and supported. Strong relationships with tutors, teachers, and peers provide a safety net in difficult moments. Pastoral care is, at its core, about connection: listening without judgement, guiding without controlling, and reassuring without dismissing genuine concerns.
Resilience is built gradually, through daily experiences of challenge and recovery. By encouraging reflection, strengthening relationships, and valuing perseverance as much as performance, we equip young people not only to cope with adversity but to grow through it.
I wish all young people luck as they move on from education and into the world of work. May they have the skills, knowledge, perseverance and resilience to manage all the challenges ahead and the confidence to keep going when the path is not straightforward.